Tuesday, July 20, 2010


So Ive totally failed at posting all the awesome finds/sites/artists etc that I had planned too.. Trust me as soon as I have time I will make sure this blog is more than my simple ramblings.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Teaching and Learning

I am an art teacher. I teach art classes at a studio for children... Every week I try to impart some modicum of love for art in these kids, and Im pretty sure they'd rather play X-Box... One week I nearly kicked a kid out for saying that Frank Sinatra (I play music the second half while they work on whatever project is going on) was "stupid lame girly music". *sigh*

But today, after I teach, I get to learn. I am shooting a wedding with Annie (of Antoinette Photography), my new mentor. Im a little nervous, not that this is my first wedding to shoot, but it is the first I've shot with someone that I have to impress.... Wish me luck!

Oh and here is a sneak peek of the shoot with Melanie from the other day... Ill post the rest Sunday night.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Expectations. Why?

"Learning to rid myself of expectations"

Funny enough I read that today in a place, from a person, very much related to(if not the cause of) fairly recent shattered expectations... A fairly simple statement that packs a punch when applied at the right point in someones life.

Why do we have expectations? They are just Desires with a hopeful question mark at the end. A hopeful question mark and a slight lift of the tone in our voice when we dare speak them out loud. Most people are full of expectations that are in existence simply due to the nature of the world. Like college after high school. Like marriage before babies. Like turning on the faucet to the big red H and getting HOT water.

Other expectations are not as simple. Others rely on the wildly unpredictable human condition. Some people expectations are undoubtedly unwarranted and maybe even on the crazy side. Some, like I said are more common and widely accepted. And some must fall somewhere lost in between the two. Somewhere lost in Confusion. Lost in a place full of wild cards and happenstance. A lot of mine are lost in the middle. I dont know what to expect, I dont know what I should be expected to expect. Sometimes I know what I would like to occur, sometimes I dont though. See? Confusion.

How are we supposed to live in a world where almost nothing is Certain?

And I think a lot people need to have an expectation. They need to want something, they need to think about the future and what will happen in it. They need to be able to plan for what's ahead. Those people like to be safe. But it's funny cause those are the ones that need to watch out.

Thats where the danger lies in "absolute" hopeful expectations- you know the kind; the kind where It is just going to work out the way you want it to, the way you need it to. Thats when your world comes crashing down when it inevitably does. not.

So, this is why I am declaring an absence of Expectations. From here on out, I am ridding myself of this dirty word. Im not losing my hope, or anything nearly as depressing and pessimistic as that. Hope is the knowledge and desire that things will work out the way they are supposed to be in the end, well thats what it is for me anyways.

So lets cheers shall we? To no more expectations and lots of Hope.

Thursday, July 15, 2010


Why is it when babies wake up they IMMEDIATELY start screaming? What if that was how I behaved everytime I awoke... My alarm goes off and "WWWEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH WWEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH" until someone came in, told me everything was ok and either picked me up or fed me.... How quick do you think people would just stop talking to me altogether?
It's like, whats your beef THAT quickly after waking, you have nothing to be stressed about, nothing to worry about... whats the deal?!

They also scream whenever they are mildly uncomfortable. How awesome would that be if we could do that?

Im sitting on a bus of smelly people- "WWWEAAHHHHH"
Im thinking that sometime in the near future I might like a snack- "WEEAAAHHHHH"
My foot falls asleep- "WWWEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


"i don't know. i get so discouraged. i see so many people so much younger than me and already so much further ahead and better than i could ever hope to be, it makes me think, what's the point? of course that's just insecurity and if i really tried, maybe something would happen. i don't know. i'm just so so terrified of being mediocre so it makes me act like i'm not taking this seriously." 
-C.A. Wayman

Read this today and it is exactly how I feel about my photography. Im mostly just glad Im not the only one that feels like this. 

Monday, July 12, 2010


These places look heavenly to me. 

Things are lookin up kid...

So Ive pretty much been a failure about writing on this dang thing everyday... I have been busy, its kind of funny that someone with NO social life is as busy as this.

I have been feeling uninspired and pretty down lately... like I had no creative outlet big enough to swallow my feelings of anxiety that start to flourish when I am not involved in something creatively. Then I had a semi-genius idea. I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for fellow artists and art lovers to photograph. And I got a really good response. I am meeting with a make up artist in a few hours to talk about working together on some projects, and I got an email from a couple with a FANTASTIC '54 sea blue chevy truck they said I could use for a photoshoot if I wanted; I also heard from a foxy blues/jazz singer that Im meeting with tomorrow night and a pretty rad artist that works in this artist community thing... Suffice to say I am SO STOKED.

Friday, July 9, 2010

And I had been doing so well...

But I forgot to post some photographs yesterday... and although YOU might not have noticed, the great internet void that is my main audience seemed pretty peeved at me. So I will combine my "friday feature" and photos tonight... I am featuring, Miss Hailey Reed. My good friend here in California. She is really something, let me tell ya. She loves getting dressed up in the middle of the day to go see a movie, she enjoys scouring the Antique Mall for treasures with me& we take ample trips to Starbucks so she can get her lattes.... Did I mention that she is two?

And she is such a good big sister to her twin siblings(babies Connor and Morgan)

In the next two weekends I have two weddings to shoot, so hopefully Ill have some fun pictures from those to post soon also. One with my new mentor Annie Smith, of Antoinette Photography, here in California; and the other back in the Midwest with my long-time friend Devin Moeser.

Oh, and I have a good rant ready for tomorrow... haha


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Wordy Wednesday

So todays words are some that I love from a man on the forefront of the Beat generation, Mr. Jack Kerouac. I dont know if you have ever read any of his work, but if you havent- you should.

I feel like this is pretty appropriate for what my life has been juggling lately... on the border of people dispersing in the distance and running back to them gathering them up and holding them tight. I think I have been too afraid of leaning forward into the next crazy venture... What if I lean too far and fall over? No one likes to fall over.

Im pretty sure Im ready to lean now. I need to be vaulted forward if I cant take the steps myself. Dear world, please vault me. Thanks.

On to the next venture dear friends. On to the next venture beneath the skies.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


I am, to put it lightly, a scatterbrained individual...
I love to make lists, then I lose them. I love to organize, then I misplace things.

I decided to try and make a schedule in regards to my posts on here, to better organize my mind and to help me feel as though some part of my life has some semblance of order to it.

Monday- Misc. "Misc Monday" has a nice way of rolling off ones tongue.
Tuesday- Updates... (if I have any) as if the vast void of the internet gives a crap, haha
Wednesday- Words. Words that I like from people I feel inspired by (nothing cheesy I promise)
Thursday- Photography, this will push me to get out there and shoot.
Friday- Features. A neat-o website or something that I found etc.
Saturday- Rants (If I have any, and I usually do)
Sunday- Things I love.

Today is Tuesday... I dont really have any updates of any interest. Just that I started looking for apts in Sacramento. Preferably in East Sac or Midtown... But thats a fairly big step for me, being ready to set down some roots somewhere and commit to something, of course well see how long that lasts.

Ok, bed time for sure.

Goodnight internet void.

Monday, July 5, 2010


I really love illustrations.

Marc Johns
this one is my all time favorite.

Holiday Confusion...

Today a lot of people I saw had "Happy 4th of July, thank you soldiers and veterans!" as their facebook/twitter/etc status...

Did I miss the nationwide email that combined Memorial Day/Veterans Day/4th of July together? Unless they are referring to the Revolutionary War soldiers? But last time I checked Thomas Jefferson didnt have a twitter account...

- the girl in question

The Girl in Question

Today someone in a bookstore came up to me and asked "are you the girl in question?", to which I responded "depends on what answer youre looking for". It felt a little bit like a Jeopardy game.
The owner of the bookstore laughed and said that should be my pen name should I ever write anything...

I decided I really liked "the girl in question". After all, I am in constant question. Of myself. Of other people. Of everything that surrounds me.

When I was younger I would start journals all the time, only to write one or two entries then move onto the next. Clearly a lot of habits stick- Ive started a couple other blogs too, one ended up being more personal than I intended and the other strictly photography related... So this is just going to be a hodge-podge of things that I discover and all the adventures I encounter.

I just love adventures, dont you?

- the girl in question.

ps: happy fourth of july.
pps: heres a photo I took on my drive down to Santa Cruz this morning